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ResistantX Essentials (German school shooting Emsdetten 2006, all decisive quotes)

(original title: breviary about Bastian B.'s suicide 'assassination'. visit his manifesto =))

hand of a murderer  |  or a young man who's not sure about this way of compensating wounds?

according to some people this illustration was 'satanic' .....  |  reflection of our societies' dying humanity. isn't it a signal when teens are worried about such? and how it comes the ones caring are lateron described as irresponsible?


Everybody was touched about what happened. I placed this page on the internet because too few young politician activists stay neutral, most just take advantage of fast conclusions. Please see, that this page wasn't much work for me...... - others secured the material in time before it got censored.

I don't really want to take sides (if possible here, anyways), just feature essential quotes with short *human* interpretations relativating hateful prejudices. The material should speak for itself, Bastian was the school shooter with the clearest message of them all, and here you'll find the pure quotes, cleaned from offtopics.

His story: A seriously abused teen warns more than 2 years before he commits *school suicide* [that's the term I want to estalish as a synonyme for 'school shooting'] and manages, though on psychotropic drugs and in serious depression up to suicide mood -> the one and only precedence case, proofs the tolerance of bullying by the school system and it's satanism plus makes a lovely Goodbye-Video. Even takes care not to kill, just hurt. This is why Bastian B. in the eyes of many teens and elder generations is 'cult forever', and seen as a German 'hero'. What's for sure: one has to have no heart at all if not understanding this.

> love, hurt resistance of a peaceful parallel generation.

Key quotes from Sebastians Livejournal, along with classifying keywords

(quotes in color)

> flight & isolation/long term wounds from humiliations / teacher's guilt / attempt to understand the other side

I guess my friends are all at the open-air bath ...the pool, a place where I haven't been for a long time, 'too public' my argument, I want to avoid humans, fear to face/suffer more shit. The shit has calmed down, like a storm which tears up everything, and now's only rain, occasionally will flood some basements. At this time, it was worse, 5th to 8th grad was the most extreme, now it's more settled, not quite that disturbing. But my wounds stayed, not only the physical ones, no, most of them wounds of one's soul, and the question: why did they do this to me still tortures me. Most people don't know, had the impression I went to school every day, didn't parttake in this shit and then again returned home as if nothing were at all. Only one time something became obvious, when they violently pressed some annealing bicycle key on my hand [to brand me]...

then the principal brought up a charge [against unknown(?)]. And that was about it. The other assaults everybody just looked away, or didn't see. To see... I wonder what this earth would be like if nobody could see at all... then, would all humans be equal? What's for sure, nobody would judge you by what you're wearing, not even you yourself. However...
[May. 26th, 2005]

> Sencelessness of Life intellectually questioned

I have no ties to this world anymore, feel rejected by it and still set hope in a change. But how does such a change define itself? Or even more important: What the hell am I doing in this world [why's it I'm here/I was born]?
[May. 23rd, 2005]

> influence of aggressive hiphop music

This ill HipHop music those kiddies all listen to is to blame for it... one just got to go crazy and become a person from then on talking mean shit.
[May. 15th, 2005]

> Attempt to flee from continuing confrontation

I reconsider to simply quit school next year so that I won't see those hateful 'mouths' [perhaps compare the in Germany at this time very popular music video 'Marylin Manson, Mob Scene', to understand the colloquial term 'Fressen' in English, I don't know how to translate this. quotation marks by me] and don't need to hear those voices anymore. I don't know what to do [about it]... [May. 16th, 2005]

> Endangerment of what makes us human by totalitarian adjustment pressure. consequences of being different in later job life, minimum-wage existence

The longer I'm wondering about this life, the more I recognize how senceless it actually is. ... Someone gets born, has a good life for 6 years, but then gets put to school. There he has to unconsciously take a decision; should I stay the person I really am, or fit in [this certain behavior]? To be exact: stay strong or will I become the betrayer of myself [in German the meaning silently includes 'loose my soul' as a reference to satanism]? If one's decided in favor of bearing up, you get laughed down, just because talking different, or because looking diversely, or listens to other music, has other interests. This will continue 4 years, and then our ten year old kid hopes: Fortunately, now it's another school where things will be better, finally! And what happens? You're fucked! Everything just gets worse. The slogan of the secondary schools: Go along with it [in German meaning: parttake in evil] or go down!

You get semi-conscious in the hope to survive all that hateful crap you're confronted with every day, in order to hopefully be able to live a better life, lateron.


[But] Then everything continues: Either you'll get no job in the first place [you have to know this: in Germany, different to the US, jobs are rare and it's very hard to get one for many strings in German life build on the false assumption of equal opportunities and everyone getting completed vocational training while indeed the German schools are so into violent chaos that many fail due to depression which pretty much messes up their whole lifes] or you'll work yourself dead for a ridiculous minimum wage till you're 65. Perhaps you'll start a family, which means you put on all this shit to your kids. Mightbe you build a house which most likely you'll never be able to pay off... anyway finally you'll find yourself, old and wrinkled, perhaps have another 20 years to live. What are you doing then? You'll begin to reflect your life, and finally realize: Why on earth did I let them do this to me??? What do I have from life, now? NOTHING!
[May. 15th, 2005. age ~16(!)]

> citizen's critics reagrding rottening education in Germany

[...] at the topic 'populism' the teacher shortly spoke about Josepf Goebbels, and it nearly swept me from my feet when one of the eldest classmates asks who the hell this again was... Holy shit, that much one really should know about the history of the own country, or??? But of course, it's 'uncool' nowadays. [Apr. 4th, 2005]

> satanic behavior of hiphop-posers

And then again see those shidy kids... how they fancy themselves... Believe they are the greatest... SHIT ON YOU !!! [Sep. 6th, 2004]

....... and from his final letter:

> teacher's responsibility when it comes to mobbing

A greater part of my revenge will be directed towards the teaching staff, because those were the people who against my will impinged my life, and helped to put me where I stand right now; On the battlefield!* Nearly all of those teachers still are on that damned school!

* 'On the battlefield!' certainly means existential destruction, but the context of this letter is quite easy to misunderstand (e.g. this way: every aspect of society shidy -> ungreatful).

> politics and public relation speeches

After my deed, again, some fat politicians will talk big like 'We must stick together, now' or 'We have to try to get through this, together'. But they just do this to get attention in order to present themselves as the solution (get elected). On the GSS [short for the name of his school, 'Geschwister-Scholl-Realschule'] it was the same.. this fat piece of principal shit never cared, but when there is theatrical performance, then she'll always be the first to appear onstage with a big fat smile and present herself to the people [claim other's work]!

> criticism against hateful behavior of some policemen, precognition of upcoming censorship

Because I know the 'Fascholizei' [German for policemen with ties to Third Reich's old hate] will try to prevent the publication of my videos, exercise books, journal, simply everything, I took care of that, myself.

> ackknowledgement and at the same time understated excuse for the bad passages (<- providing potential targets to his enemies), as he realized himself to not have the strength to do better, anymore:

Finally, I want to thank all people I love, or the ones who were ever good to me, and to excuse myself for all this!

I'm gone..

last entry of his journal, originally written in English

This is the last evening I will ever see. I should be happy about all this, but somehow I'm not. It's my family... They are all good people, and I will hurt them tomorrow. It's sad, to know I won't see them again after tomorrow morning. To those I love: I'm very sorry about all this. [November. 19th, 2006]

...seeking help long time in a psychological support board on the internet before mobbing in the end killed him

[...] Well, hello,
[...] In my class now it's really bad
Halfway through, the kids are childish or beatnicks. Only few ok.
[...] This fear slightly flashes to anger. I carry all this inflicted rage, to somewhen let it out at once, and to take revenge on those assholes who destroyed my life. I mean those types playing  'extra tough', posers who stand in a corner with 12 smoking cigarettes and beating up younger kids.

For those who haven't quite understood how serious it is: Yes, rampage is the issue, here!

I'm not quite sure where I stand, I don't know what to do, please help me.
[June. 6th, 2004]

[end of the quotes]

material on the internet, videos
  1. condolences book for ResistantX, lovely sympathies and entries of literary value
  2. LiveJournal :). especially interesting the comments. the first ones contain hateful mainstream stuff, further down the page (entry 'May. 26th, 2005') very good additions     
  3. last video [Google]. divide into defiance because of been hurt, and truth. The breaks in the last part point to the real important passages. 'playing macho' or: | simply weak English and being too much on antidepressants (where one can't speak so clear anymore, what many people oversee), and emphasizing hatemobbing's consequences, because of feeling hurt or insecure in this situation?

glorification of violence/satanism  |  the other view would be: fight for diversity of people. reflection of faced violence, comfort in loving weapons, domain as hopeful message of solidarity.

This way certainly might feel as strange inside a teen as the sustaining weapon in the hand of a person who's peaceful by nature.

without sun-glasses, just human. who doesn't understand his videos
bears guilt himself. he had a real classical German appearance

Late comments

  • Very sad, for Bastian and esp. for his parents. I mean, just put yourself in their place: You bring up a child for many years, give up everything in life for that, and then this loved child gets so mobbed at public schools that it dies inside till finally only weapons can give comfort against the pain. Now, the same media and ministry cricles backing up the school system's satanism accuse him being a murderer. Yes, perhaps the hiphop-posers fit well into the rightwing's blind ideology of an assumably 'self-steelening youth', but exactly that's part of the problem in the first place, the career greed of some journalists: Few weeks from christmas eve, certain mainstream magazines made a malicious campaign against their just suicided son. disgusting. (January 2007)
  • I'm not quite sure about the date of the board entry Bastian made. when I translated the original page from 2007, today, there stood "June. 6th, 2006". in the media, they reported his entry was 2 years earlier so I corrected on the fly to "June. 6th, 2004", but perhaps I took the date of a later correction made by Bosse. if anyone uses this for a publication or reference make sure you check the date. also be careful with "..." because it's not always by him, s.t. I tried to provide some continuity, as blogs contain errors etc.. Of course, I took some freedom in translation, but it's really close to the original and just avoids misinterpretations. Alltogether, I guess this is the most complete essential quotes selection online.
  • hope you liked the text which is from 01/2007, with some later extensions


good work

Very good report :)